Finished reading the last novel yesterday. Need to get something really good!
Want to read THE GREAT INDIAN NOVEL by Shashi Tharoor.
Jun 17, 2010
Jun 10, 2010
Crisis of Self-Identification
Yes yes. Here it comes. Self-identification. Self-obsessed me. But this time, it's little different.
Yesterday at dinner, my Sci-Fi uncle asked me this very simple question: How are you?
And I replied..I am fine. I usually say the same thing whenever anybody asks me about my well being etc. etc.
And then while I was eating, i just thought for a while...and said ..actually I am not fine. But I am not sad either. So, will that account for being "fine"?
He laughed and asked me...how is your work going on? I said pretty good and am coming back home on time as well. I said on personal level too..everything is calm, nice and there are no complaints.
And then came this big concept of self-identification. My dad as usual was commenting on "live life king size...and living in the present" philosophy and my mom was coming up with new questions related with the big one. I was trying to finish my brinjal curry simultaneously thinking about AH and the episode of Castle which i wanted to see.....
However I asked him, how are you? To this, he said, I am OK. Well see...that's the standard thing people say...no one ever says I am happy...because, it is not a permanent state..there is nothing like absolute happiness for mortals.
Well this discussion led to many perspectives. I have started to believe that we are never satisfied for a long period of time.
Despite living a good life (with a career of my choice, with a life partner of my choice,) something remains lacking....on a spiritual level. On a macro level, there is this universe, world, my country, my state, my city, my society, my home, my family and then I. How small is my existence in physical sense. Of course, I have touched many lives.. :) yet, when it comes to the connection with self..it's not there.
I am a religious person..not much but I believe in Almighty..and pray to God everyday before leaving for office..and before going to sleep I do the same. That is one habit that I follow ever since I was in school. Is it just a habit? no can't be because I earnestly pray...and in my prayers I ask for the well being of my parents and family..and myself. I pray to God to be with me in all situations...to give me strength to do the right thing.
In management classes, we were told to believe in the concept of "we". And I appreciate all that stuff. But it is so superficial. There is so much of "I", "me" and "myself"....everywhere.
I try to justify my mistakes with myself knowing that it's all crap until I accept what I have done was not correct.
Ohh there is some much going on in my mind...
Jun 5, 2010
Jun 2, 2010
If only... the rains could wash the pain!
I am sad. Being sad is a recurring story. I can realize that my last post was written in a similar mood. And today when I write this, I feel just the same.
It rained in Ahmedabad last night. It was enthralling to smell the wet mud, listening to the birds chirping on balcony, watching the purple color of sky, feeling the cool breeze. I was so lazy. I tried to read for some time. But chose to sleep instead. Like that was going to help. How vain our efforts can be? We live in some self-created illusionary state.
Anyway, I listened to the songs playing on radio. To my surprise, the first song I listened was Ronan Keating’s “when you say nothing at all” and it left me with so many unsaid things. I waited for AH’s call. My cell vibrated at 11:05 pm and I answered half-heartedly. I anticipated that we will talk about something else. But we did not. And then I slept.
I woke up early with the same droning mood… I did not recall seeing any dreams also. I checked my cell for any message. There wasn’t any. Finally he called. It was cliché of last night...whoa...Could it be any more serious…duh! I feel so vacant right now.
Anyway, I don’t have much time to extend this post. Got a presentation to finish.
May 21, 2010
Damsel in dismal mood :(
I am in a very bad mood. I do not feel like working. Want to go home and lie down on my bed with my face buried in pillow.
May 18, 2010
Good reads
Some books are so good that they leave an everlasting impression. Here are a few quotes which I like very much.
"Happiness is a myth. It was invented to make us buy things."
"Luck is what happens to you when fate gets tired of waiting."
"News is about what people do. Gossip is about how they enjoyed doing it."
"Every virtuous act has some dark secret in its heart; every risk we take contains a mystery that can’t be solved."
The Bridges of Madison County - Robert James Waller
"In a universe of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes only once, and never again, no matter how many lifetimes you live."
"I’m not sure you’re inside of me, or that I am inside of you, or that I own you. At least i don’t want to own you. I think we’re both inside of another being we have created called ‘us’.”
Eleven Minutes - Paulo Coelho
"At every moment of our lives we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss."
"If I must be faithful to someone or something, then I have, first of all, to be faithful to myself."
Here I go again
I can never get enough of myself. Ever.
If I were a beginning, I would be: Beginning of the universe
If I were a month, I would be: September
If I were a day of the week, I would be: Friday
If I were a time of day, I would be: Not a day but Night
If I were a planet, I would be: Mars
If I were a season, I would be: Rainy
If I were a sea animal, I would be: Whale
If I were a direction, I would be: North
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: Swing..to be more precise a hammock
If I were a sin, I would be: Lust…God forbid J
If I were a liquid, I would be: Water
If I were a fraud/scare, I would be: Doomed
If I were a gem, I would be: Diamond
If I were a tree, I would be: Banyan tree
If I were a tool, I would be: Screw driver..That’s the only tool I can remember at this time!
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: Lily
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Hot
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: Piano
If I were an animal, I would be: Horse
If I were an emotion, I would be: Love
If I were a vegetable, I would be: Tomato
If I were a sound, I would be: Silence
If I were an element, I would be: Fire
If I were a car, I would be: Any SUV
If I were a song, I would be: You are still the one by Shania Twain
If I were a food, I would be: Pani Puri in Indian and Pizza in Italian
If I were a place, I would be: Ancient Greece
If I were a material, I would be: Paper
If I were a taste, I would be: Salty
If I were a scent, I would be: My own
If I were a religion, I would be: Peace
If I were a sentence, I would be: I love you
If I were a body part, I would be: Lips
If I were a facial expression, I would be: Smile
If I were a subject in college, I would be: History
If I were a shape, I would be: Circle
If I were a quantity, I would be: More
If I were a color, I would be: Green
If I were a thing, I would be: Book
If I were a landmass, I would be: Oasis
If I were a book, I would be: Entertaining like Mills & Boon
If I were a monument, I would be: Tall
If I were an artist, I would be: Madonna
If I were a collection of poems, I would be: It’s a tie between Gitanjali and Madhushala
If I were a watch, I would be: Showing wrong time
If I were God, I would be: Helping perhaps!
If I were a vowel, I would be: U
If I were a consonant, I would be: V
If I were a formula, I would be: love potion
If I were a Science, I would be: Physics
If I were a theory, I would be: Theory of Evolution
If I were a famous person, I would be: Glamorous
If I were an electronic equipment, I would be: Television
If I were sport, I would be: Cricket
If I were a movie, I would be: When Harry met Sally
If I were a cartoon, I would be: Jasmine
If I were an explorer, I would be: in Egypt
If I were a scientist, I would be: Inventing the time machine
If I were a relation, I would be: Mother
If I were a river, I would be: Saraswati
If I were intoxication, I would be: Chocolate
If I were alone, I would be: Thinking
If I were a question, then I would be: When?
If I were a hobby, I would be: Collecting things, making a scrapbook
If I were a habit, I would be: Getting up early...that would end my mom’s worries
If I were in an atom, I would be: Having magnetic elements
If I were an end, I would be: Happy
If I were you, I would be: Surprised
May 17, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)