Nov 13, 2008

The Devil & the Angel in me :)

Aah...this one is going to be really interesting.

I presume everyone in this world who is normal and sane in worldly ways has 2 sides to him/her -
the devilish one and the angelic one.

At certain times, our mind guides us to behave in a perfectly admirable manner almost like a gentleman or a lady but there are situations when we succumb to our impulses and weaknesses and react in outrageous and ghoulish manner.

Well, I am very curious about such things because I like to observe and study human nature closely.So, this post is just an attempt to see how people unconsciously and consciously portray their devilish and angelic traits...

Situations determine our behaviour. For instance, I am very much unpredictable as a person. Sometimes I go crazy about something and then one has to bear with my whims. This is in a positive sense..pls don't take it otherwise. I am lost and moody but very much grounded to my surroundings.

So, I have seen my devil coming out when I might have overdone gossiping which could have been averted, or I might have said certain things to someone which later I have regretted, or I might have done something which morals & values forbid me to do. Ok.

I don't repent over such things because they have happened in past and who gurantees that I won't act like this again in future? Matters of past become painfully significant (depending on the nature) if we hold them to our heart and cry over them....
I am not justifying anything because I have limited control on my actions and speech(..although I try a lot) but yes no matter what we do or what we say has effect on others more particularly on them whom we love, care and respect.

But this devil always picks and chooses the loved ones and often hurts their feelings and it cannot redo the undone:(
There have been incidents seemingly harmless and stupid where I have ignited and provoked them...Well this is not an alter for confession..I am not that lame...see the devil is emerging out again....

All I am doing is trying to break free the boundary between these two aspects.

If winter is here , can spring be far behind..doesn't this remind one of many such proverbs like where there is shadow there is light...something like that....
This is more like the wonderful characterstic in humans...the angelic one!

When are we genuinely good? truly nice?
We are almost angels when either we are too selfless to something/someone or totally selfish. I'll explain.

Our natural self is really good. So, atleast in my case I am devoted to my folks(those who are really close to me) so being good to them is very spontaneous and natural out of love and affection and the special bonding I share with each of them.
I can be congenial to strangers because certain people send positive vibes. It can also be vice versa.
Out of sympathy, compassion and pity one can selflessly behave in a commendable way.

But when our interests are too big and stakes are too high we might act good whereas our thoughts tell a different story. What I am trying to bring about is the fact that we portray the best about us and the rest is all hidden. Funny..but true isn't it?

Why do we act like this? Why can't we be good all the time? May be beacause is it impossible to be good or bad 24*7....and then comes the real answer..because human beings are born innocent but with time they gather virtues and vices and behave accordingly.

Anyway, it is different from person to person. As far as I am concerned I am a little secretive about many things. So, I have the devil and angel in me.....Blogging allows me to liberate my mind from vague thoughts that struck me out of the blue. And it is easier than to write them in a diary..which is a lot more personal.

Sometimes the devil and angel clash and then we face the big every stage of our life.
"What should I do? Should I do this? or Should I do that?"
And here we make choices....tough ones and we continue to make them for whole is a cycle.
And sometimes when the angel wins this battle, we get peace of mind. This is when we feel light, and content(and such moments are occasional!).

So it is a way of looking at things in a bright way and not repenting on things which shouldn't have happened or why they happened. One does commit mistake and learn from them. And one does act selflessly and nicely.

So, I am enjoying the dualities in me..the good and bad both...only making sure that in this process I be true to myself.

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